Acceptance
by LadyAlambielKnightofNarnia
Summary: Acceptance is rarely easy and sometimes we need a helping hand to take that step...


Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.

Summary: Acceptance is rarely easy and sometimes we need a helping hand to take that step...

A/N: This is part of my _A Light in the Darkness_ universe and is set between Chapters Two and Three of _Revealed_, so I recommend reading the main story arc but you can try to give it a whirl on its own.

**_Acceptance_**

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20 Mayblossom 1004

The library was fairly quiet as I entered. I could hear some of the Bats chattering in one of the shadowed shelves and I saw one of the juvenile Raccoons, Atuki, rummaging through some of the books left on the center table nearest the doors. He had best hope Elwood didn't find out he was playing in the library again, otherwise I had no doubt the Badger would scare the rings off the little troublemaker's tail with a growling rant about the proper conduct he expected all to adhere to when in his library. Then he would inform the hapless kit's formidable mother of his activities, which might be worse. However, the other nocturnal residents of Cair Paravel seemed to have found other places to spend their time than the library. It was well then that I sought only one person and I had a very good idea as to where I would find her.

Between knowing exactly where she was currently hiding and having spent the last two years discovering the quickest route to that corner of the library, it took me only a little under ten minutes to find her. The light of a single candle illuminated the table tucked into the far corner of the library...and the stacks of documents of varying height obscuring most of the table from view save for the near corner, which allowed me to see Katerina Alambiel. She was slumped over the table with her head pillowed on her arms. I could only see the back of her head, but it was obvious that Katerina had fallen asleep in the midst of scouring the genealogies for the secret to her family's identity.

I shook my head in silent wonder at how she was still too stubborn to leave the library when she knew it was best. Of course, I couldn't be too surprised, after all last summer she had nearly gotten herself killed by being too stubborn to wait for her wounds to heal and trying to train for a small skirmish along the southern border. I hadn't known about her injuries and ended up popping her stitches during training. She had nearly bled to death because Queen Lucy had taken her cordial with her to the Lone Islands. I shook my head again, personally I would prefer it if we managed to avoid life-threatening injuries this summer though that was unlikely to happen.

I moved closer to the table, but even the sound of my hooves echoing on the marble floors didn't cause Katerina to stir. I frowned slightly as I realized she must have been foregoing sleep in favor of her search again. I considered waking her so she would at least move to her rooms, though knowing her, she wouldn't make it any farther than the settee in her parlor. But, then I decided to leave her where she was because Lion knew she would wake only to throw herself further into her search and I didn't feel like forcing her to take a sleeping draught...besides, she always found a way to retaliate.

I turned to leave, but stopped when I heard a small voice exclaim, "Ah ha!"

Looking back toward the table, I spotted a small Raccoon climbing up on top of one of the stacks of documents. Atuki. That little troublemaker had followed me and now he was within a breath of causing a huge mess. By the grace of Aslan, that mischievous creature managed to scramble on top of the documents without damaging them or knocking them down...yet. Just before I reached the table, Atuki crouched low on top of the stack then sprang forward. I caught him right before he landed on Katerina's head.

Atuki grunted as he squirmed in my hand then he stretched his front paws out in grasping motion, "Duht! S'iny!"

I kept my voice low as I called the kit's attention to myself, "Atuki."

He froze for a moment with both paws outstretched and then he slowly twisted to wrap his paws around my thumb as he peered up at me with wide eyes. He blinked at me then he tilted his head back to look at Katerina Alambiel, who was apparently still sleeping, before he pointed, "Duht! S'iny! Atuki down!"

At four months, the little Raccoon and his four older siblings were already making a name for themselves as mischief-makers, but Atuki seemed eager to surpass his siblings' notoriety. Just last month he had somehow ended up in Queen Susan's bath, then knocked a number of Alithia's healing salves over, made a mess of the healers' common storeroom, dumped three shelves' worth of books into the floor of the library, and doused himself and the entirety of Katerina's desk in ink...the kit had tried to clean that one up with her personal notes...she had not been pleased. I wasn't sure what he wanted exactly, well, other than he wanted down, so I was hesitant to allow him out of sight or hand. However, I needed to pick up the documents that had toppled off the table in the wake of Atuki's leap. Lowering my hand, I gently set the Raccoon kit on the table. "Stay here, Atuki. And, don't touch anything."

I highly doubted that Atuki would be able to resist touching things, he was a Raccoon after all, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to remind him of the behavior he was supposed to be participating in. It didn't take hardly any time to scoop the documents up, but by the time I straightened, Atuki had moved. He was sniffing around Katerina's hair, which had mostly worked its way free of the two ivory combs she had used to pull it back and up away from her face. I suppressed a sigh as I carefully returned the documents to their proper place, then reached for the Raccoon. He looked over his shoulder at me then scurried around to the other side of Katerina. The little rascal squeaked, "Atuki fast! Ore miss Atuki! Ha!"

I had to hide a grin at the youngster's excitement about avoiding my hand. He did not need any encouragement. I stayed on the other side of the table for a moment, hoping the kit might tire of his game if I didn't play it with him. No such luck. He rose up and sniffed the air then he formed a tiny fist and shook it, "Duht!"

I had no idea what he meant when he said that, but I was starting to wonder if Katerina Alambiel and Queen Susan were right about the young Raccoon spending too much time around soldiers because I could think of several curses that kit could have been trying to say. Katerina still hadn't moved even though Atuki was making more than enough noise to wake a drunk Dwarf. I had the suspicion that half the time she seemed to sleep through events accompanied by enough noise to wake the dead, she was awake and was merely waiting for whoever was responsible for waking her to go away. I gave up on calling to Atuki and rounded Katerina's chair, keeping one eye on the little rascal who was feeling along where Katerina's cheek rested on her arm. He scurried to the other side of Katerina as soon as he saw me, once again squeaking, "Atuki fast! Ha!"

I sighed as Atuki managed to pull the ivory combs free of Katerina's hair, "Atuki, come here. Bring those to me."

Fortunately, he was in the stage of thievery where he eagerly shared his prize with whoever asked so long as he knew them. Clutching the combs to his chest, Atuki staggered toward me not stopping until he reached my outstretched hand. He placed both combs in the center of my palm and then pushed against my fingers until I curled them around the combs. He patted my closed fist with blissful satisfaction, "For Ore! Atuki find pretty t'ings! Ha!"

I had planned on picking the little rascal up, but he had no sooner finished boasting about his find than Atuki tilted his head back and then fell over, nearly upsetting the open inkpot. I managed to grab it before any ink splashed on to the documents. Elwood would have had all three of our heads if he discovered any of his documents damaged, accident or no. Rolling back on to his paws, the little Raccoon scurried for Katerina Alambiel. "Duht! S'iny! Ha!"

I found the stopper for the inkpot at the same time I saw Atuki trying to balance between the table and Katerina as he reached for her hair. A flash of silver told me what had caught the kit's attention; the silver etchings in the beads I had given Katerina Alambiel and she wore woven into a small braid had caught the candlelight. And, there was nothing Atuki or any other Raccoon kit adored more than something shiny. Replacing the stopper, I moved the inkpot to a spot that seemed safe from Atuki's antics. As I leaned forward, setting the inkpot down, the pommel of my right-hand sword knocked against the table. Katerina Alambiel jerked upright in her chair and Atuki, who had been precariously balancing on her arm, tumbled forward with a squeak to land on his back in Katerina's lap.

Ignoring the way her hair had fallen around her shoulders, Katerina Alambiel smiled down at the little rascal. "Atuki, my dear, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

Atuki giggled as he rolled over, "Atuki fast! Atuki find s'iny, Ala! Ha! Ore miss Atuki! Atuki find pretty t'ings, Ala!"

Her smile widened as she gently tapped Atuki on his quivering black nose, "How clever you are becoming, indeed, Master Atuki Raccoon. However, I believe it is about time for you to report back to your mother."

Atuki whined, "Duht!"

Then the kit immediately cowered in Katerina's lap as a new voice joined the conversation, "Atuki! There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. You know you were supposed to stay with your brother and sisters. You also know you were not to come into this library without your father or I. And, you certainly weren't supposed to be bothering the General or Lady Katerina." Lady Shapata Raccoon gave us both an apologetic look, "I am sorry if he has been causing trouble again, sir, lady."

Katerina immediately waved away Shapata's concern, "Nonsense, Lady Shapata, Atuki didn't even break anything this time. He hardly qualified as trouble tonight. Isn't that right, Oreius?"

She was enjoying putting me on the spot far too much and this had apparently become one of her new methods for when she was trying to cause me grief. I glanced down at where Atuki peered up at me with huge dark eyes from his spot in Katerina's lap. Well, compared to what he usually got into, not to mention the trouble Katerina could cause, Atuki had been... "Hardly any trouble tonight, Lady Shapata."

Shapata nodded then, after Katerina obligingly lowered Atuki to the floor, she briskly herded the hapless kit toward the library doors. I had no doubt that Atuki would be roundly scolded for being in the library. I also had no doubt that he would be cowed only for as long as it took the next new thing, probably shiny, to cross his path. Katerina Alambiel gave me an amused look as she pushed some hair back behind her right ear, "Were you looking for me for a particular reason, Kentauri?"

I held out the ivory combs Atuki had taken and Katerina went to work taming her wavy hair to her satisfaction. "I wanted to make sure you were all right."

She stilled in her movements for only a second, but that was long enough to confirm my suspicions after what I had seen at the feast earlier this evening. Katerina had not retreated to the library just to continue her research, but also so she could hide from one of our Sisemaalian visitors. She worked the comb into her hair until the right side was swept up and back so it just brushed her shoulders. "I'm fine, Oreius. Why wouldn't I be?"

Because I knew her better than that. I could see the warning signs that she was trying to retreat too far from the world, from life, in an effort to protect herself instead of allowing me to protect her as I had sworn I would. I didn't say those words to her, instead I set my hand over hers as she reached for the remaining comb. "Did he say something? Do something?"

She shook her head, but her hand tensed slightly under mine betraying her ill ease at the mere mention of the Man. "No, he has done nothing that puts him outside the laws of courtesy and conduct expected of the members of the envoy. But, there is just something about him that... He is a creepy scuzzball, Oreius, and I don't like him at all. There is something that...just feels wrong. He makes Susan uncomfortable as it is, but tonight the way he looked at me when I interrupted their conversation to get her away from him. It made my skin crawl."

I frowned, "Unfortunately, as we discussed yesterday with the Kings, there is no law against being a 'creepy scuzzball.'"

"Well there should be."

She was probably right and I had no doubt any number of the ladies in the Cair who had fallen under the count's eye would readily agree with her. "I will increase the number of guards shadowing Count Hendrik in the morn. He may not notice them, but their presence should reassure you that he won't have the opportunity to cause mischief." She looked vaguely skeptical and I knew she was thinking about her theories concerning that Murphy and his law. I chose not to address it, settling for tightening my grip on her hand for a brief moment before I let go.

I surveyed the remaining stacks of documents. The only stack that remained the same height as when the Kings and I had begun helping her a few days earlier was the one I knew belonged to the royal family...the original royal family, the line of Frank. "You should be looking at the royal genealogies."

"No."

"What are you afraid of learning about yourself, about your family?"

My blind throw landed close to the mark as she snapped, "I am not afraid. I'm being realistic. The odds of me being a part of the royal family are infinitesimal. Why do you keep insisting I need to check those records?"

Not the answer I had hoped for, but I would let the matter lie...for now. I shrugged, "I have a feeling that your answer lies in those records. I don't know why, but I can't shake the feeling. Maybe you should search the records just to prove me wrong, you seem to enjoy doing that."

"Kentauri." She used her warning tone, but I could hear the laughter lurking just underneath the surface.

I continued as if I hadn't heard her, "What is the worst thing you could learn, Katerina Alambiel? That you were born to the royal family in the year 314? Well, you would be old...we would have to clear a space for you on the council of elders by the simple virtue of your antiquity." I finally looked at her as I put the final touch on my teasing, "I must admit that you look extremely well for someone who's six hundred and ninety years old."

She laughed and shook her head, "You are so strange. I am not six hundred and ninety years old."

I grinned at her, "How do you know? And, I hope you are because then I can address you as 'Ancient One.'"

"You do, and I have a dagger with your name on it, Kentauri."

I chuckled and raised my hands as I conceded, "All teasing aside, Katerina Alambiel, what you learn from the records will simply reveal a missing piece of your background. It is not going to change who you are. A single piece of the puzzle is not going to destroy you. I won't let it. You are not going through this alone, even though you've certainly been trying to do so. We are here to help...I am here to help. But, you do need to accept the help before it can be effective."

She sighed and nodded slightly as she cradled the comb in her hand still. "Bear with me, my friend, I'm trying to accept. But, I'm set in my ways even if I'm not in my antiquity and I'm not very fond of change. Though I do promise to try harder to accept it, both help and change."

That was all I would ever ask of her. Waiting for her to finish playing with her hair and combs, I thought it was ironic how she protested she was not one for change when she had changed so much in the few short years I had known her. When she first arrived in Narnia, she had been rather leery of letting anyone too close, formal, polite but distant, save with Queen Lucy not that she had a chance against being pulled into the Queen's bright circle of light, laughter, and love. Then, she slowly began to let her guard down until she was almost too unguarded as if she were expending all the years of her childhood she had not been permitted to enjoy at once. Wild, yes, she had been fairly wild and mischievous and playfully irreverent with those of us privileged to be counted among her friends, though there had still been an underlying seriousness and wisdom beyond her apparent years. Now, she was still mischievous and sometimes wild and almost always playfully irreverent, but she had calmed just enough that it was not as much of a shock to see her act the part of a serious and wise advisor. My respect for her had only grown for her over time and I was glad that she had changed enough to allow me to better act as her shield...most of the time anyway, sometimes she still refused to be reasonable and allow herself to rely on anyone else.

Katerina finally finished adjusting the combs in her hair and stood, I had planned to ask her something but whatever it was flew out of my head when I looked down and saw the left side of her face. I laughed softly and reached out to touch her cheek, "Fall asleep on our quill, did we?"

She nodded, "Yes, why do I have ink on my face?"

I shook my head as I absently rubbed my thumb over the mark, "More along the lines of a perfect impression."

I dropped my hand and watched in amusement as she rubbed her cheek vigorously while muttering in Irish about accursed quills and Centaurs who should have said something sooner. Why was everything that happened that she didn't like either Murphy's fault or my fault? I still didn't know, but with the lack of heat behind her words, I could tell she was distracted. Perhaps she was still thinking about acceptance...I was, in addition to change. Glancing back at the table as we walked away, I still felt Katerina Alambiel would find her answers in the royal genealogy and while some things would change, it was not enough to avoid acceptance. Leaving Katerina Alambiel at her chambers, I supposed one thing of comfort to us both was the knowledge that no matter what happened, no matter what she found, we both knew that I would stand by her side as her shield and I accepted her as she was.

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**A/N: Please Read and Review. So, this oneshot was originally requested/suggested by dreaminsapphire. I have not forgotten about _Revealed_, but this actually ties in a bit to upcoming events so I went ahead and wrote it up. I hope to have the next chapter of _Revealed_ up over the weekend. Click the big blue button below and let me know what you think about this little interlude.**


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